Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Happy Folding My Underwear

It's 10pm on a Tuesday night, I'm sitting on my bed surrounded by clean laundry that needs to be folded, it's been sitting in the basket since Saturday because we've been too caught up the Halloween celebrations and having fun before returning to our normal routine of work eat sleep repeat.
There's a handheld steamer in the middle of the floor because I've just figured out how to use it and it's quite exciting. 
The dog is panned out on the floor next to me and I have Spotify playing on the tablet for a bit of background noise. It's playing my "Rock" playlist as it's aptly named on my device. It's mostly filled with songs I would have listened to in my teen years or my carefree years when would what I would consider a small drama now was a huge one back then. Some of these songs take me back, right back to the very moment they are significant to me for, some back to when I was 15, some 19, others not too long ago at all. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel the moment all over again.
I love that about music, for me it keeps memories alive, one song can bring a smile to my face instantly just by remembering the situation, person or thing attached to it. 
Before I would listen to particular songs and sometimes pine for those particular moments again, I'd give anything to be in that moment again and sometimes that makes me think that maybe the here and now isn't where I thought I would be or should be. 
There's particular moments in life that I thought I would never leave behind and detach from, moments I thought would always be there, lingering in the back of my mind and if I thought they were slipping away I would put on one of these songs on the my play list and make sure it was still there even if the moment wasn't a particularly good one, it was still there, in the back of my mind.

Tonight though, a couple of songs came on, ones that would usually get to me, stop me in my tracks for a few minutes, like this and this, make me think, but tonight they didn't. For the first time in a long time, I felt a genuine wave of happiness, contentment and gratefulness wash over me. There was nothing major happening, but hearing these old songs I was smiling away to myself, thinking of whatever memory had popped into my head and I realised just how happy I was to be in the here and now. I am a natural worrier and over thinker, I generally panic about things that haven't even happened yet and I'm so easily stressed out by things I can't control right now.
Life is hectic, it's moving at such a fast pace all of the time and it's easy to get bogged down by what I haven't done in life but it's not so easy to remember all of the things I have done and achieved that I am proud of.
I've travelled to the otherside of the world on a whim, I've visited different countries and experienced different cultures, I've been down to my last penny and I've had more money than sense, I've fallen in love more than once, hard and fast and I've been delirious with it, I've hard my heart crushed but it's also been rebuilt and learned to love again, I've had various jobs, turned my hand to a few sectors and I've found one that's kept me content for the last 7 years, I've had girly holidays, far too many drunken nights to remember that involved tears, happy and sad, lots of terrible singing and questionable dancing, I've lost friends, gained friends, I've been on the highest high but also at my lowest point, I've been stuck in ruts but I've found my way out. 

So yeah, I maybe sitting on my bed surrounded by our undies that need to be folded, the dog may be shedding all of his bloody hairs over the carpet, the playlist on Spotify maybe making me want to reach for my hairbrush and jump around my room singing like I would have "back in the day" (it's on Oasis "Don't Look Back In Anger" so that's understandable!) but I can't because the little person that I co created is asleep in the next room and my partner in crime, the OH, who has been gone since 8am for college and then went straight to work, we'll get a quick chat in before we set our alarms to do it all again tomorrow, is due home any minute and he's not particularly a fan of my singing voice. 

So as I fold up our smalls, put them away in our draws, curse at the dog for leaving hairs everywhere and remember that I need to go downstairs and get our bags and lunches ready for the morning, I revel in my happiness, my contentment at my here and now, it may not be perfect, we may be working our backsides off towards a better future, it may be hard somedays, really bloody hard but I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.


4 comments:

  1. I love this! Over the past few weeks I've been caught up on life but since slowing down to get back into a routine I've felt the same. Content on what I have and happy in life itself. Xx

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    1. Thank you :) sometimes it's the most simplest of things that make us realise isn't it? Di

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  2. I loved your post. Sometimes we have such moments but they pass us by. Contentment in just being. Long may it last.

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