Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Piling Up & Falling Down

Life has been full on this year, it's been one thing after another and there's always something. Working full time, a partner who's a full time student as well as holding down 2 jobs until this month, a 4 year old at home to take care of and a house to keep. Nothing out of the blue for us these last couple of years since the OH went back to college, we knew it wouldn't be easy and we knew we'd have to work hard on every level to get through it. 
I enjoy a lot of things in life and so I focused on the positives of them to help get through the stressful times.

Blogging is my hobby, I enjoy composing and constructing posts and images, taking my camera out and sharing some shots, writing posts about everyday life that people can relate to. I enjoy sharing them across my social media and keeping up to date with my fellow bloggers.

I enjoy going to work, most of the time anyway. Of course I hate the being away from Luke for so long part but I've always said going to the job I have and working with the people I do makes it that bit easier. 

I thoroughly enjoy my role as a political activist in my spare time, it's something that has become so important to me over the last 18months, it's something that gives me a fire in my belly and my calendar is revolving around it a lot more lately. 

I enjoy getting out in the fresh air at the weekends and going to different places. Taking Luke off out and about so that we make the most o four weekends. 

I enjoy cooking nice, healthy food. Trying out a new recipe, baking cakes for people.

I even enjoy cleaning the house, I'm a bit house proud and I get great satisfaction out of it.

It would seem that I enjoy a lot about my life despite all the added stress as mentioned at the start but have you ever got to the point where you're trying to juggle all of those things in the air along with taking care of everyday business that all of a sudden those things that you enjoy so much become a task?

Well recently I've hit a wall, a pretty big one and all of the things I enjoy have become an extra weight to carry. It's like everything over the last 2 years imploded and knocked me for six.

I fell down 2 weeks with an attack of severe high blood pressure, so bad I genuinely thought I was on the verge of a heart attack, heart problems in the family didn't do much to ease my mind. I'd let my health deteriorate to such a low point without even realising or paying attention. I had been told to keep an eye on my BP back in January, it's been a bit up in the air since pregnancy. However I didn't, with everything else going on I put my health and well being on the back burner.
I had a set back in July when I slipped and hurt my back, 3 prescriptions later and it's starting to get better but all of that medication took it's toll on an already weary mind and body.

I wasn't eating properly, I wasn't exercising at all and I couldn't focus on anything after a while. It's like my head was constantly full, full of things that I should be doing but didn't have the time for, things I wanted to do but didn't have the motivation for. 

It all got on top of me and I began to panic. 

Fast forward to today and I'm now on medication for the next 6 weeks to try and regulate my blood pressure while I reassess my life, sounds dramatic but that's pretty much what I'm doing. I need to reprioritise all of the things I have going on and focus on what's most important, starting with my own health and well being.
I won't lie, I've had a fright. I feel like I've let myself down for not looking after my health, what use am I to my son or family if I'm not looking after myself to keep going. It's a warning sign and it's up to me to get things under control again.
I'm a natural born worrier, I over think everything and I need to find a way to switch off, to shut my mind down for a while every day. 

I want to go back to enjoying all of the things I'm lucky enough to enjoy in life and I don't want them to become tasks or hard effort but I need to find some balance within first. 

So it may be quiet on here or it may be busier than ever as I find putting my thoughts into words is a great help.

I'm starting with the thing that needs immediate attention and that is my physical health and well being. I've started to change the way I eat particularly my sodium intake and I'm moving more, not a lot right now but I hope to build up my stamina. I'm currently hobbling around the place after starting yoga last night!

I've had a few suggestions on how I can improve my lifestyle, but if you have any suggestions then please do share.

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