Tuesday, 30 July 2019

A Little Boys Independence 💙

This Summer we bit the bullet and decided Luke was allowed out to play with the other kids in the estate. It was a bit of a spur of the moment decision because we were in the garden and the other kids were playing and laughing on the bank behind our house and Luke was looking up and I could see he wanted to join in so when I asked if he wanted to go out he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing!
I asked him did he want me to go out and ask the kids if he could play but he swiftly replied No! He told me to just stand back and watch him walk up the road. So I did and I have a perfect view from the upstairs window so I ran up there and practically hung out of it trying to listen to what was going on - slightly panicked that they might not let him play or think he was too young or wouldn’t be nice to him. 
I needn’t have worried because of course it was all fine. 
Every morning since it’s first thing he says - “Can I go out to play now?” He can’t quite understand that 8am is too early to be knocking on people’s doors! So we try to keep it to 11am or if he hears the other kids out a bit earlier he’s goes out to them. 

His confidence is after soaring, he’s so thrilled to be able to head off out without his Mum or Dad and  just hang with his friends. I’ve stood on the periphery keeping an eye and watch him as he walked right up to a group of bigger boys asking can he join in with their football game, not a bother to him. He really is thriving with his new found independence. 

As with any of these next steps though there is bound to be a few issues and there has been 1 or 2 incidents but we spoke with the parents of one child and it was all fine after. As other parents have told me though, there’s always one in the group and unfortunately this other child does seem problematic and we’ve had to keep a close eye on it. This kind of situation leads to questions like “Why don’t they like me?” or “Why are they mean to me?” - it’s hard to hear but it’s a learning curve and part of childhood and we are trying to get him to understand that not everyone will want to be his friend and we can’t explain why this other child is mean to him but we can reassure him that he does not have to listen to or be around this other child if he doesn’t want to be and that when he’s out there he can play with who he likes not who this child thinks he should play with etc

It’s a whole new territory for us and him and he will be learning the first of many life lessons while he’s out and about but it’s all part of growing up. 

We weren’t going to let him out for another year but I’m so glad we have because it really lived up his Summer and he’s so happy when his new friends call to the door or invite him into their houses. I also don’t know myself with the 5 minutes peace either! 

It’s very much one of those moments that has crept up on us without us being quite ready emotionally, a bit like when he gave up the bottle or handed me his dummy to say he didn’t need it anymore - these years really are flying by!


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